Gifts
by composinkid
Summary: "I lay down on my bed and somehow fall asleep, covered in blood and drying tears, my mind a complete mess. I find myself wishing that maybe, just maybe, I won't ever wake up." How Peeta got hijacked in the Capitol. Mockingjay spoilers, rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: This takes place in Mockingjay, when Peeta is captured by the capitol. The story will end when he is rescued, and you all know how it goes from there :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

_Everyone fears death. That's the point of those games, isn't it? To terrify the districts so they don't rebel again. Unless you've experienced what I've been through, you would fear death as well. It's different for me. Death would be a relief from the pain. Death would end the nightmares that plague me even when I'm awake. Death would be an escape, allowing me to never have to see anyone I love in pain again. Death would stop all the confusion that is messing with my brain. You see, there are far worse things than taking your final breath. For me, death would be a gift. _

**Gifts**

Unfortunately for me, my host isn't too fond of giving gifts. No, he won't grant me an escape. I am a pawn. A piece in his game. The one thing I swore I would never let myself become.

The last thing I remember was Katniss screaming my name, the sky exploding above me, and a hovercraft picking me up as the world went dark.

When I had woken up, I was laying on a cold, metal table. I tried push myself into a sitting position, but my arms and legs were bound to the table. "Katniss?" I yelled. As I struggled, an intense pain built up in my wrists and ankles. I lifted my neck so I could see why I felt something digging into my skin. That's when I noticed. The bindings weren't made of leather or fabric. They were made of barbed wire, and each time I struggled, the wire became tighter, digging deeper into my skin. I looked around the room. White walls, white ceiling, white floor. A door was on the wall in front of me with a single window. I rested my neck back down. There was nothing I could do except wait.

Hours went by, and I drifted in and out of a light sleep. My stomach growled every now and then, but I pushed the ebbing feeling of hunger to the back of my mind. I knew that Snow would want to keep me alive, and keeping me alive meant giving me food. I knew I would be fed, but only just enough. With this fact in mind, I knew I would not starve to death, and I was able to push my hunger aside. For now.

I heard a noise coming from the hallway outside my room. The door slammed upon, causing me to jump, which in turn caused the restraints to wrap even tighter around my wrists and ankles, piercing my skin. I grimaced as a voice spoke, and without lifting my head I knew its owner.

"Mr. Mellark. Before I begin, I think we should make one thing clear. Lying will not help you in any way. I have had this same discussion with Ms. Everdeen before. We will not lie to each other. Do you understand?"

"Go to hell," I sputtered out. I'm not normally one for such language, but this is a special circumstance.

"Now, now, Mr. Mellark, I have come here simply to talk. All I want is information. If you give me information, I will give you some in return. I imagine there must be thousands of questions running through that head of yours. We both want answers."

It's true; I had many questions. Most of them involving Katniss. Was she ok? Where was she? What happened? I desperately needed to know that she was ok, and the only way was to go along with Snow's game. He has a thing for games.

I lifted up my head so I could see him better. He stood before me in a black suit, with a white rose in his chest pocket. His white hair, whatever was left of it, was slicked back. I looked him in the eye. "Alright, ask your damn questions. But first, tell me what happened."

"Mr. Mellark," he began, "as you may have guessed, the force field around the arena was destroyed from the inside by none other than Katniss Everdeen. A hovercraft then arrived in the arena, from District 13." He must have seen my confusion, because he added, "Yes, 13. Underground, but very much in existence. Now, can you tell me who was involved in the planning of this escape?"

"No."

"It would be in your best interest to not lie to me, Peeta." Snow snapped his fingers, and sound blared into the room. I couldn't make out what it was at first, but then I realized what I was hearing. Screaming. Katniss screaming. Katniss.

"What are you doing to her!" I shouted, struggling against the restraints.

"Well, you haven't quite answered my question. Answer mine, and I shall answer yours."

"I can't tell you who was involved in the escape because I don't know! I had no idea, and neither did Katniss! Let her go, kill me if you want! Just let her go!"

Snow started to chuckle. "Why, Mr. Mellark, I would never kill you, or Ms. Everdeen. At least not unless it was public. But not now. You are of far too much value for me to kill."

The screaming began again, and tears started to roll down my face. "You don't have her! You're lying to me, these screams aren't real! They're from mutts, like in the arena! Not real!"

"I believe we agreed not to lie to each other, Mr. Mellark. However, I do believe you when you say that you had no knowledge of the escape. That's it for now, Mr. Mellark." He walked out the door without looking back, Katniss' screaming still blasting through the room.

My mind was racing. Did he really have Katniss? He couldn't, right? I would know if she were really here. The screaming became too much for me to handle. I couldn't bear hearing her in pain, and the screams were of pure agony. Still in my restraints, I burst into tears. I didn't even try to hold back the sobs that escaped my throat, or the darkness that quickly overtook me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

After I passed out, I awoke in a different room. That is where I am now. There is a large screen in front of me. The room is dark, except for a light shining down on me. It blinds my eyes, and I can't see my surroundings. There are tubes hooked up to my arms and bare chest, and wires connected to my head.

"Hello again, Mr. Mellark." Hearing that voice sends shivers down my spine. Lucky for me, my barbed wire restraints were replaced with leather, so they didn't dig into my skin. How thoughtful of my host to think of that for me.

"Don't be afraid, Mr. Mellark. I am here to help you."

I nearly laugh at that statement. "Like hell you are," I growl.

Without another word, Snow pushes a button on the remote in his hand, and the screen in front of me bursts into life. At the same time, I feel something ooze into my veins, but I can't figure out what it is. My vision becomes…shiny. My mind becomes cloudy. I know that it has to do with the tubes connected to my arm, but I can't piece it together.

I clench my teeth tightly, trying to keep my mind focused, and turn my attention back to the screen. A familiar scene is playing out in front of me. I see Katniss and I in the cave from our first games.

"_You have an amazing memory," she said._

"_I remember everything about you. You're the one who wasn't paying attention," I replied._

"_I am now."_

"_Well I don't have much competition here."_

I know the next words that come out of her mouth, and I'm wondering why Snow is showing me this video.

"_You don't have much competition anywhere," she says before leaning in to kiss me._

I am completely confused. Why has Snow made my mind foggy, and why is he showing me this? I keep watching the screen, feeling a want – no, a need – to kiss Katniss' lips again. Seeing it on screen makes me feel completely broken inside, knowing that I will never be able to see her face again. A few tears start to roll down my face. Is this why Snow is showing me this? To break me? To show me what he's taken from me? That bastard.

That's when I notice the scene take off on a path I don't remember. I mean, I remember that we alternated keeping watch at night, and I remember that she made me rest a lot because of my leg.

_I'm sleeping in the cave, and Katniss is keeping watch. She sits down next to my sleeping form, and pulls a knife from her bag._

"_I'm going to kill you in your sleep, Peeta. Be thankful that it's not while you're awake. It'll be less painful this way. Did you really believe that I love you? You're slowing me down. You're a burden. I need to make it home to my sister, Peeta. I wish I was sorry, but she is more important to me than some merchant."_

_With that, she raises the knife with two hands above my chest._

My heart is beating twice its normal rate. This didn't happen! I know it didn't! I mean…There were times when I was asleep, so I don't know what was happening during that time, but Katniss would never do this! She loves me! Doesn't she?

_A cannon goes off outside the cave. This startles Katniss into dropping the knife harmlessly on the cave floor. _

The screen goes dark. My vision is still blurry, and everything still seems shiny. I notice that Snow has been watching me this entire time, standing off to the side. He has a smile on his face.

"I told you I'm here to help you, Peeta. She never loved you. She wanted to kill you. She still wants to kill you, why else do you think she joined with the Rebellion and left you in the arena? She wants you dead, Mr. Mellark."

"No! It's not true! I refuse to believe it!" I can't control the tears that come streaming down my face.

"Good night, Mr. Mellark." Whatever was causing me to feel lightheaded and make everything seem shiny has mentally drained me. I quickly lean to the side, expelling whatever bits of food are in my stomach from my body. I continue dry heaving until I feel something else oozing through the tubes into my bloodstream, and I fall into the dark abyss of unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

***shamless plug* I composed an entire, fully orchestrated mock score for the first HG book a few months ago. You can find all the pieces on my youtube channel, my username there is the same as my pen name here (composinkid). I've also started ****on a score for Catching Fire, so check out those pieces too! Maybe you could listen to them while reading some of the marvelous fanfics on this site? ;)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**

I'm kept in the room that I initially woke up in, but now there is a small bed and a bucket for me to use as a toilet. I'm fed two small meals a day. A few crackers in what I assume to be the morning, and a single slice of bread at night. With the slice of bread comes a pill. I don't trust it, so I drop it into my toilet-bucket. I do this for several days, when a peacekeeper barges into my room and grabs me by my hair.

He yanks me out of the room, and down the hall. We arrive in a room similar to the one I am kept in, but the only thing in here is a bathtub full of water.

"What, do I smell bad?" I ask, not even attempting to hide the venomous sarcasm in my voice.

Before I know what's happening, my face is submerged in the water, my hands are held behind my back, and my lungs feel like they are collapsing. Right when I feel the darkness seeping in, I'm pulled out of the water. I'm coughing and gasping for air.

"Have you been taking the pills?" The peacekeeper asks.

I lie in between coughs.

My face gets thrust into the water again. Images flash before my eyes: Katniss in the meadow. Prim with her goat. Katniss kissing me on the beach. My father teaching me how to bake my first loaf of bread. Katniss kissing me in the cave. Katniss raising her knife above my sleeping form, ready to kill me – wait, what?

All I can think about was that last memory. Was it a memory? No, it was a video Snow showed me. But I was asleep in it, so how do I know it didn't happen? I know that Katniss refused to trust me at first, but I thought by the time we were in the cave in our first games she had actually started to develop feelings for me. I shake these thoughts from my head. Here I am being water tortured, and all I can think about is Katniss. Figures. She's the love of my life. I can't live without her. At least I know that she will be the last thing that crosses my mind before I'm drowned. My lungs feel like they are exploding. Just like before, right when the darkness starts to seep in, I'm removed from the water.

I need to get out of here. Just being locked up is messing with my head. My memories are slowly fading, or morphing into whatever my paranoid self is afraid of. I can't take it. I need to see Katniss, I need to know she's ok. I'm dragged back to my room, coughing and sputtering up water. As I'm pulled down the hall, I see someone else being escorted to the room I just came from. I quickly make eye contact with them.

"Johanna?" I stutter, still being dragged.

Her eyes widen in recognition. "Peeta! Peeta, oh god! Peeta, listen to me! I-" Her voice gets cut off as the peacekeeper escorting her punches her in the face once and throws her into the room with the tub. The door slam shuts behind them.

No! Why is she here? Silent tears stream down my face. If she is here, who else could be being kept prisoner here?

"Take your damn pills, or next time you won't get off so easy," the peacekeeper growls before throwing me on the ground of my cell and slamming the door shut.

From then on, I take the pills.

xxxxx

An hour later, my cell door opens and a figure is thrown into my room. "You have five minutes," I hear. I look up from my spot on my bed, and see Johanna sprawled out on the floor in front of me.

"I convinced them to let me talk to you by giving up my meals for a day," she explains.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I needed a reminder that there is still hope."

This is the first time I have ever seen Johanna Mason shed a tear. I hope I never have to see it again. Her whole body is shaking, soaked from the same water torture that I was victim to not long ago.

"Why were they torturing you? They only brought me there because I refused to take the pills they gave me...what did you do?" I ask, curious.

She looks at me with nothing but pure sadness etched across her face. "I'm alive, and that's enough reason. They've brought me there every day." She's still shaking. I want to go over to her and hug her, so I do. She lifts her face up and looks into my eyes.

"She loves you, you know. Always remember that. When you feel like you can't go on anymore, you need to fight. Fight for her. You have a reason to keep going. I don't."

My eyes tear up. "Yes, you do, Johanna. Me. Haymitch. Katniss. Finnick. Fight for us. Don't give up. We're a family now, none of us have anything else left. All we have is each other. You said you have nobody left to love. Well, that wasn't true. You have all of us. Don't forget that." She nods, still looking in my eyes. I've never seen her look so broken. I never thought it was possible to break Johanna Mason.

"Thank you, Peeta." She doesn't need to say anything more, her eyes tell me enough. She'll keep fighting for me. For Katniss. For Haymitch, and Finnick. For all of us, her family.

We sit in silence, just holding each other until the peacekeeper comes back and drags her away. I hope that wasn't the last time I would ever see her.

xxxxx

After a few days, I figure out what the pills are for. They fill out my muscles, make my stomach grow fatter, hide my ribs. They make me look healthy without having to actually keep me well nourished. Why does Snow want me to look healthy, if I'm just a prisoner here? Before I have too long to think about it, I fall into a deep sleep on the poor excuse for a mattress.

I wake with a start and notice Snow sitting in a chair near the door, watching me. I wish I never woke up.

"Mr. Mellark, you will be interviewed by Caesar Flickerman this afternoon." Ah, the pills make sense now. I need to look pretty for the television. "You will read off a script. If you do not obey, you and your loved ones will pay dearly. Do I make myself clear?"

There's no point in arguing. I'm so weak and confused all I can do is nod my head in agreement. Before he leaves, I open my mouth to speak. There is one thing I need to know. "I will do what you ask, if you answer one question for me. And remember, no lying."

I see Snow thinking for a moment. He must decide that it doesn't really matter what I know, there is nothing I can do. So he nods his head.

"Is Katniss alive, and where is she?" I blurt out. She's all I think about. She is my world. Whatever Snow showed me before was a lie. I can't believe it. I won't.

Snow chuckles. "I had a feeling you would ask that, Mr. Mellark. I can assure you that your dear Katniss is indeed alive." He frowns while saying the last word. "In fact, I recall already telling you this after showing you the video of you and her in the cave. She left you in the arena. She joined the rebellion. She is in district 13, trying to get as far away from you as she can possibly get. Don't be upset, it's not like she loved you in the first place." With that, he walks out the door.

I know Katniss loves me. I know it. Right? I know that I can't trust Snow with anything he says, but part of me can't help but question if what he said was true. I mean, she even admitted that she was acting for the cameras during our first games. This girl is going to be the death of me. _But I wouldn't have it any other way,_ I think to myself. Is she even thinking of me? She must be. Why haven't they rescued me yet? Have they given up?

Later that day, I am put in front of the camera with Caesar. I'm not even aware of what I am saying. I'm just reading the prompter in front of me, my whole body feeling numb. I have no idea what I am saying, the words come out of my mouth without meaning. When I finish, I look at Snow, who just nods his head. I'm sent back to my room.

When I get dinner, I realize that there is no pill with it. I no longer need to look healthy. I will now look as miserable as I feel. I lay down on the bed, one word floating through my brain.

_Katniss._


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

The door opens, and a peacekeeper escorts me to the room with the screen. He forces me down in the chair, attaches the tubes to my arm and the wires to my head. The same fuzzy and shiny feeling that I've grown accustomed to overwhelms my senses, and I'm stuck staring at the screen. I know the routine by now. I've been in here 3 times, each time witnessing a scene involving Katniss and I, and her trying to kill me. I know it's not true. I know it. Yet a part of me still feels angry and hurt.

I suddenly feel even more dizzy than all the other times I've been in this room, and everything seems extra shiny. Whatever is in these tubes, they must have upped the dosage. I try to struggle, but my wrists and legs are bound in the chair. The peacekeeper smiles knowingly at me. He's enjoying my pain.

The screen flickers to life. Immediately this scene is different than all the others before it. I see district 12. I see the bakery. I see my home. My father is outside, sitting on the steps leading up to the shop. I see Katniss approach him. The two begin having a conversation, but the words are muffled and I can't hear them. Either whatever is coursing through my veins is causing this, or the video's sound is off. I like to think both.

I watch, confused, as my father and Katniss begin to have a conversation. She starts to become visibly upset at my father, and I can't help but wonder what is happening. Before I know it, she whips out a knife from her belt buckle. I gasp. What is she doing? My father quickly stands up and backs up towards the entry to the bakery. I see Katniss shouting at him, making large gestures with her hands. My father just shakes his head sadly, and I watch in what seems like slow motion as Katniss lunges towards my father, embedding the knife in his chest. He falls to the ground in a pool of blood. Katniss kicks him once for good measure. I half expect a cannon to go off, and none does, but the absence of a cannon doesn't make my father any less dead.

"TURN IT OFF!" I scream. "THIS ISN'T REAL! STOP SHOWING ME THESE LIES! TURN. IT. OFF! NOT REAL! NOT REAL!"

I hear someone enter the room through my angry sobs.

"Why Mr. Mellark, I thought we agreed to never lie to each other."

I see Katniss smile down at my father's lifeless body, and the screen is shut off.

xxxxx

I'm back in my room, sobbing my eyes out. I've thrown up twice in the past hour since I was dragged out of that wretched room with the screen. Real or not, the image of Katniss stabbing my father and kicking his lifeless form is burned into my mind. I'm so busy sobbing that I don't even hear the door open or notice the presence of someone else in the room until I feel arms wrap around me, holding me as I cry. I look up into the face of who is comforting me.

Portia.

"P...Portia?" I ask through my tears.

"Oh Peeta, I can't stand to see you like this." She looks into my eyes, and I can tell she is genuinely worried and sorry for me, but there is another emotion trying to show itself. Guilt?

"Why are you here?"

"To help you, Peeta. I know you must be extremely confused right now. I knew that Snow had you, and I made a deal with him to let me come see you."

"What's your end of the deal?" I ask, worried, remembering how Johanna had to give up food for a whole day to get five minutes with me.

"That's not important. What's important is that I am here now. Peeta, there's something you should know." She pauses before she continues, as if she is trying to think of the best way to put it. "Peeta, there's no easy way to say this…There is no more District 12. It was bombed about a week after Katniss destroyed the force field around the arena. I am sorry."

My cries that had temporarily calmed down burst forth again. Normally I don't cry, normally I can hold myself together. But being here, tortured, in the Capitol, separated from Katniss, not knowing what's real and what's not real, has broken me. The Capitol is winning. My whole body is numb. My home is gone. I can't believe this. If my district was bombed…what about the people in it?

"Portia, please tell me my family made it out ok."

She won't meet my eyes. She just stares at the floor.

"I'm sorry, Peeta…" She pauses, and the silence is deafening. "Your father was found dead a few days before the bombing, with a knife in his chest. Your brothers refused to leave, now that both you and their father were gone. They had nothing else to live for. Your mother, well, she didn't want to leave out of stubbornness. I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm so sorry." Tears are falling down her own cheeks now, and I know that she is in fact sorry for me. One thing she said sticks out to me, though.

_Your father was found dead a few days before the bombing, with a knife in his chest. _My breathing catches. _A knife in his chest._ I think back to the video Snow showed me earlier. Portia had said the bombing took place a week after the arena was blown up, meaning Katniss would have had plenty of time before the attack to sneak into District 12...the timing works... and...No. It can't be. Just...no. I refuse to believe it. Yet Portia is sitting here next to me, telling me my father was found with a knife in his chest. I trust Portia. But I also trust Katniss. In fact, I more than trust Katniss. I love her. But... Portia is like a mother I never had. She was the only one I could trust when I first got to the Capitol before my first games. My brain becomes jumbled and I can't even create a coherent thought. My head feels heavy and dizzy, and for what seems like the millionth time, I black out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

When I wake up again, Portia is no longer with me. I call out for her, but nobody comes in through the door. My body is numb. My mind is jumbled. I can't comprehend anything.

Katniss. The thought of her brings a warmth through my body that I can't control. I love her. I love every fiber of her being. I need to see her, I need to make sure she's ok…no, no. She killed my family. SHE KILLED MY FAMILY!

Anger seethes through me. I know I love her. But she killed my family. My family. I have no one left. I am in the hands of the Capitol, and she killed the thing that meant the most to me, other than herself. Does she even mean anything to me anymore? She must, because every time I think of her I can't help but long for her touch. I miss her so damn much. The thought of her makes my whole body ache.

_A knife in his chest._ She killed him. She killed my father. And because he was dead, my brothers refused to leave his side, and they were killed in the explosion. If he were alive, they would have all made it. But he wasn't alive. Because she killed him.

Then I realize something else. Portia had said that the reason my brothers had nothing left was because both my father and _I_ were gone. Me. I'm to blame as well. And I hate myself for it.

xxxxx

I'm being forced to go back on television again and call for yet another cease fire. Katniss has no idea what she's doing. She's going to get herself killed. My mind can't decide if it cares or not. I know I love her. With every beat of my heart, I feel the need for her lips upon mine. However, all I can see in my head is her stabbing a knife through my father's heart, ending his life.

I haven't been given any pills before this interview. That means that Snow doesn't care how I look to the country anymore. He's proving a point.

Before I'm put on air, I overhear Snow talking on his phone to someone off to the side of the room.

"Have the hovercrafts prepared. We strike District 13 tonight." I can't determine whether or not I give a damn.

I'm standing in front of the camera, reciting the script that has been predetermined for me. I'm numb like I was the first time. I wasn't given any pills leading up to this interview, my ribs are showing through my skin and my muscles have become less and less defined. My cheeks are hollow and my eyes have giant grey circles around them. I see myself in the monitor, but I don't care. It doesn't matter. If I die, I won't be in pain anymore. I won't be struggling to sort out my feelings for Katniss. Death would be a gift.

I finish my speech in front of the camera. Suddenly I start thinking of Katniss. My thoughts become clear for a moment. Snow lied. I love Katniss. She did nothing to harm me or my family. Portia lied. Why did she lie? Snow must have put her up to it. I can think clearly.

But in another second, my mind becomes a foggy jumble as it was before. However, that moment of clarity was enough. I shout into the camera, "And you, in District 13 – dead by morning!" I hope they see this. I hope they get my message. I hope they get out in time.

Peacekeepers surround me. The camera is still rolling, I can see the red light illuminated. In the commotion, the camera is knocked to the ground. I'm quick to follow. A peacekeeper with brass knuckles approaches me with a smirk on his face.

His fist connects with my jaw, making me cry out in pain. My blood splatters on the floor. Another punch, this time connecting with my cheek. A third connects with my right temple. Darkness is closing in.

"Turn that fucking camera off!" I hear in the distance. Must be Snow. I smile to myself, knowing that all of Panem has now seen what is happening to me. I just hope my warning wasn't too late. I close my eyes, welcoming the darkness.

xxxxx

_I see Katniss. I know immediately what I'm seeing. This is a memory. _

_She's rummaging through our trash can, looking for food. My mother sees her, too. She opens the door and yells something at her. I peer out from behind my mother's legs. I can't stand seeing the girl I love dying before my very eyes. I need to do something. I follow my mother back into the bakery._

_"Peeta, why are you just standing there? Put these damn loaves of bread in the oven!"  
_

_"Yes, mother."  
_

_I put two loaves of bread on the top of the oven. When my mother isn't looking, I quickly push them in to the point where they fall into the back, burning.  
_

_"PEETA MELLARK!" A rolling pin makes contact with my head. "Feed those burnt loaves to the pigs! Nobody decent is going to buy burned bread!"  
_

_I grab the loaves and walk out the door of the bakery. I rip off the burnt parts of the bread and toss it to the pigs. I see Katniss in the corner of my eye, crouching by a tree. I can tell she's given up. But I won't let her.  
_

_First one loaf, then the other flies through the air, landing a few feet away from her. She looks at the loaves, then at me. I should turn and walk back into the bakery before my mother sees what I've done and gives me another welt on my face. But I don't. I just stand there, staring into her grey eyes.  
_

_This didn't happen. I should be back in the bakery by now.  
_

_She smiles. First it's a thankful smile. A genuine smile. Then something changes in her face. It becomes darker, more ominous. Her smile becomes sinister. She opens her mouth, and a low growl escapes her throat. Her body becomes...shiny. She kicks the loaves of bread out of the way.  
_

_This isn't real. This can't be real. This isn't what happened. My memory is playing tricks on me.  
_

_She starts off walking, but quickly picks up the pace until she reaches me. She stands in front of me. My feet are glued to the ground. I can't move.  
_

_Not real.  
_

_She pulls a knife out of her right hunting boot.  
_

_Not real.  
_

_She lunges forward, knife in hand, and does something unexpected. She crashes her lips into mine, moving hers with such a ferocity mine become raw and sore. This is wrong. This isn't what happened. Is it? I try to break away, but I can't.  
_

_Then I feel the unmistakable piercing pain of a knife being thrust into my back.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: This chapter is when things start to get pretty intense, violent, and dark. You have been warned.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

"How DARE you!" I awake to the ground rushing up to meet my face.

Snow is standing above me, one foot on my back as I lay helplessly on my stomach below him.

"Why would you even THINK of warning the girl that KILLED YOUR FAMILY?" He shouts at me.

"She DIDN'T KILL MY FAMILY!" I sputter back. Blood seeps from my mouth.

Snow shouts an order, and three peacekeepers rush over. Two of them rip off my shirt and pin me into a kneeling position with my hands on the ground in front of me. The third peacekeeper steps behind me. I hear something whistle through the air, and a sharp pain explodes all over my back as I cry out in agony. Another whistle, another wave of pain.

"Katniss killed your family," Snow said.

"No, she didn't," was my reply.

Another whistle, another bloody imprint made on my back.

"She is the reason you're being whipped right now."

"No, she's not."

The whip makes contact with my back again. I can't take it. My vision is blurred, my back is completely numb. I suddenly feel a short stinging sensation in my arm. Snow just gave me a shot of something. I feel it burn through my veins, and my vision becomes shiny and cloudy, like when I'm hooked up to all the tubes in that room with the screen. Great, they've made that torture mobile.

"If you don't believe me when I say that it's her fault you're being whipped, then turn around. See for yourself."

I know I have no other choice but to do what Snow says. Since the peacekeepers are still holding me in the same position, I shakily move my neck around so I can see behind me. Everything is shiny and out of focus, but one thing is clear. The person holding the whip is dressed in a peacekeeper uniform, looks like a normal peacekeeper, but their helmet is off. And the face belongs to someone I haven't seen in I don't know how long. Her usual braid drops down in front of her left shoulder. I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to clear my vision. This can't be real. Whatever was shot into my bloodstream must be making me hallucinate in my already fragile state. I keep opening and closing my eyes, hoping the image in front of me will change. It doesn't.

Katniss raises the whip, and I can see the fury in her eyes as the whip cracks down on my back once more.

xxxxx

It's been a day since my whipping. A few minutes after I hallucinated (it _WAS_ a hallucination, right?) Katniss as the peacekeeper holding the whip, I passed out from the pain and blood loss. I had woken up in my room a few hours later, with a "new" dirty white shirt on. Yet another wonderful gift from Snow, after he had his peacekeepers rip my last shirt off my body. At least now I don't have to visibly see my emaciated form.

I reach my arm behind me and run my fingers down my back as far as I can reach. No scars. Snow must have ordered for me to be healed, probably just so he can have me whipped again if need be without fear of actually killing me and allowing me to escape this suffering.

The door to my room opens, and none other than the President himself graces me with his presence.

"I hope you never disobey me again, Peeta. I went easy on you that time. I actually had to make Katniss stop the whipping before she killed you. A 'thank you' would be nice."

He's lying. He has to be. Katniss wouldn't be in the Capitol. Snow would have had her captured or killed. Unless she really did want me dead. What did I ever do to her? I start to get angry. Not because I'm being told she wants me dead. I'm pretty sure that isn't true. I know she wasn't the one whipping me. All the evidence says that it was, but deep down I just know it wasn't her. What's making me angry is all of my memories of her hurting me in some way. Treating me like shit, knocking me into a vase when I proclaimed my love for her, breaking my heart. I'm almost positive those memories are real. After everything I've done for her, I deserve better.

Snow seems to sense my rising anger. "Anger is powerful, Mr. Mellark. Embrace it. It gives you strength."

No. This isn't me. I focus on my breathing, and try to slow it down. It starts to work, and once again Snow seems to notice my change.

"Don't fight it, Peeta. Let the anger build." I don't listen. I take deep breaths until my breathing returns to normal.

Snow frowns at me. He must be disappointed I was able to control my anger from consuming me.

"Follow me please, Mr. Mellark."

I don't move.

Snow grabs me by the hair and I yelp in surprise as he drags me out the door, down the hall, and into the room with the screen.

"Up the dosage. Do whatever it takes," he instructs the peacekeeper I am left with. He then storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

My head hurts. My face feels broken. My body is numb. My mind is a jumbled mess. I wish Snow would just let me die, or kill me on the spot. But no, he isn't kind enough for that kind of mercy.

I'm strapped down, the tubes are attached, and the wires are stuck back on my head. Images flash before me. Most of them I've seen already – the cave, my father being stabbed. Everything is out of focus. I want to vomit. Everything is shiny. Whatever is in my bloodstream is making me sick. It's burning through my veins. I can't take it anymore. I want to shut my eyes and block out the images, but I can't. Something inside of me forbids it. So I keep watching.

I see Katniss setting fire to the Bakery, burning everyone inside.

Katniss shooting an innocent child outside of the school.

Katniss trying to strangle me in my sleep.

Katniss holding a knife to my throat as I beg for mercy. That didn't happen…did it?

Katniss with Gale.

Katniss kissing Gale.

Katniss kissing Gale while smirking at me, telling me how I'm a pathetic loser for ever thinking she would possibly love me.

Katniss chasing me in the woods in the first games. Her eyes turn yellow. She leans down as she is running so her hands brush the ground. Her body starts to transform into a giant mutt. A muttation. She is a mutt. Katniss. A mutt that killed my family. A mutt I…love? A mutt that broke my heart. A mutt that tried to kill me every chance she got. A mutt that needs to pay.

Katniss talking with Haymitch. He tells her about the plans to escape the arena. He asks if she wants to let me know about the plan. She says no. He asks if she loves me. She says no. He asks if she wants me to be rescued by District 13 as well. She says no. He asks if she wants me dead. She doesn't answer. The screen goes dark.

Snow enters the room. The tubes are removed from my arms, the wires from my head. We stare at each other for a long time. I am the first one to break the silence.

"She is the reason my whole family is dead." It's not a question, it's a statement.

"Real, Peeta."

"She tried to kill me."

"Many times."

My voice is emotionless. My mind is a fog. I stare at the ground. "She never loved me."

"Never."

"We promised not to lie to each other." I raise my eyes to look into his.

"That we did, Mr. Mellark."

xxxxx

_I'm in the bakery. My father steps outside to take a quick breath of fresh air. I start to hear shouting._

_I move to the window, and see Katniss yelling at my father about something. I figure he offered her too much bread in a trade and she got offended. Typical Katniss.  
_

_I head towards the door to calm them both down, when I hear a cry of pain followed by laughter. I burst outside to the sight of my father lying on the ground with a knife through his heart and Katniss laughing down at his limp body. She looks up at me, still laughing, with piercing black eyes. She takes out another knife, and before I even see it leave her hand, it lodges itself in my throat.  
_

I awake screaming. I look around. I'm in my cell. Damn nightmare. Yet...it felt so real. Almost like a memory. Which is impossible, because none of that happened. Still, I can't shake the feeling that something like that happened, and then it clicks. One of the first videos Snow showed me. Katniss stabbing my father. My unconscious mind must have inserted myself into that scene, even though I wasn't there when it really happened. Anger starts boiling through my veins. _When_ it happened. Not _if_ it happened. Because I know now that it did. Katniss killed my father, which led to my brothers not leaving District 12 during the bombing. She killed all of them. My rage continues to build, but before I can expel any of it, my thoughts are interrupted.

Through the wall next to my bed, I hear shouting, a scream of agony, and things being thrown around. It must be one of the other prisoners. Poor soul.

The commotion moves itself into the hallway, and my rage gradually dissipates as I instead become curious as to what's happening outside my door.

"No, please! Don't take me back there! PLEASE!"

I try to recognize the voice, but it's too ragged and weak for me to put a face to it.

I hear the peacekeeper laughing as he starts to drag the prisoner down the hall. I see their silhouettes through the window on my door.

"Don't worry, we have a special surprise for you along with your normal bath." He says the word 'bath', but I know what he really means. Water torture. The peacekeeper starts talking again. "Let's just say that this surprise is quite..._shocking_." The way he said that last word makes my heart skip a beat. They wouldn't do that to someone, right? I mean...water torture is cruel enough, they wouldn't...electrocute...them after, right?

I pray that whoever this prisoner is dies quickly so they don't have to suffer, but deep down I know that Snow won't allow that to happen. He'll soak and electrocute them to the point where they are hanging on to life by a thread. Then he'll let them recuperate just until they are strong enough for him to do it again, like what he did with the scars on my back from the whipping.

I silently move over to my door and peer through the window. I quickly get a glimpse of the prisoner before they're thrown into the room with the tub down the hall and my heart sinks. The peacekeeper enters the room after them but leaves the door open. I start to wonder why he didn't shut the door like normal. I realize I can hear everything happening in that room now because it isn't sealed off. This must be why. Snow wants me to hear what's happening in that room. It serves as a warning. Don't disobey again, or this will happen to you. My heart drops to my stomach as I can hear the torture begin. I feel sick.

I curl up in a ball in the corner of my room, hands clamped over my ears, trying to block out the sound of splashing followed by the pulsing of a low electrical buzz accompanied by the screams of Johanna Mason.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: This chapter is pretty intense and dark. This story is rated M for a reason, folks. You may not find this chapter as intense as I do, but I figured I would post this note anyways. You have been warned...again.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

Johanna's torture lasted for what felt like hours. When I finally heard the peacekeeper begin to drag her back to her room, I rush to the door and peer through the window. Johanna's body is limp. Her neck is hung forward so her chin is bouncing against her chest. Her eyes are half open. She weakly lifts her neck as they pass my door, and we briefly make eye contact. I put my hand up on the window as a few tears escape my eyes. Her eyes linger on mine as she's dragged past until she's out of sight.

This is all Katniss' fault. She took everything from me. I have nothing left.

Snow still won't just kill me. He's intent on drawing this out as long as possible. As long as he has me, he has a tool against the rebellion.

Not that I care about the rebellion or anyone involved in it. I don't feel guilty about not caring. It's obvious they don't give a damn about me either. If they did, I wouldn't be here right now. Johanna wouldn't be here right now. We would be rescued. But it's clear that Katniss only cares about herself. She pretended to love me to keep herself alive. Then she killed my family for no reason at all. I need to make her pay. My hands clench into fists, and my body starts to tremble.

I move back to my bed. Abruptly, hidden speakers in my room start to play a familiar sound. The sound of Katniss screaming. The same screams that Snow played the first day I woke up here. The screams that had once caused me to burst into tears and cry out my love's name now act as a lullaby to calm me. What I would give to hear this in person. She deserves whatever pain would cause her to scream like this. I fall asleep to the sweet sound of Katniss crying out in agony.

xxxxx

Snow was kind enough to install a mirror next to my bed while I was asleep. What a lovely gift, having the ability to watch yourself deteriorate into nothing. I stare into the mirror. My face is swollen from all the beatings. My eyes are bloodshot. My hair is long and the messiest it's ever been. Every inch of my skin is black and blue. I lift up my rag of a shirt. I can see my ribs. How long have I been in this prison?

Katniss.

Her name makes my whole body shake. Before I know it, I punch a hole through the wall. I look in the mirror. My pupils are rapidly dilating. I can't focus on anything. I get dizzy. I need pain. I don't know why, I just do. I find a piece of the barbed wire from my first pair of restraints on the floor. I wrap it around my wrist and pull as tight as I can. My wrist starts seeping blood. The pain allows me to focus. I calm down.

I sit on my bed, emotionless. My breathing has returned to normal. I don't know how long I sit there.

Someone enters the room. I can see them, but my brain doesn't register who it is. Not until I feel them sit down next to me on the bed and shake me out of my daze.

"Peeta!" I look up into her eyes.

"Portia?" I feel the anger coming back, I see my eyes dilating in the mirror. I clutch the barbed wire in my hand and focus on the pain. My breathing slows.

"Peeta." Tears are streaming down her face. "Listen to me. I don't have much time, I snuck past the guards and they can't know I'm here. I'm so, so, sorry Peeta. Snow made me say everything I did the last time I was here. He told me he would use the water-electrocution torture on you if I didn't do what he wanted…I'm so sorry, Peeta. You are like a son to me. I love you as a mother would a child. I didn't want him to hurt you, but I ended up hurting you instead. I can't stand seeing you like this. Peeta, Katniss didn't kill your family. She didn't leave you on purpose in the arena. I'm almost positive she's been trying to get District 13 to rescue you, and they're just waiting for the opportune moment. She really does love you, Peeta. I could see it in her eyes every time I saw you two together. Katniss needs you. Don't give up on her."

I stare blankly at her. Tears are still rolling down her face, and she's clearly waiting for me to say something. She lied to me. Snow made her lie to me.

But Snow promised he would never lie.

I feel a fiery rage burning inside me, the flames being fueled by pure confusion and frustration. I can't control it.

"NO! Katniss killed everyone I love, she destroyed my heart multiple times, and she even wanted to kill me! I've seen it!"

"No, Peeta!" Portia's voice is desperate. "Peeta everything is a lie! They injected you with tracker jacker venom and forced you to watch doctored videos of Katniss to alter your memories with her! Don't let them win, Peeta! Don't! You're a kind, loving, caring person, Peeta! Don't let them change you! Please! Remember who you are!"

Her pleading sobs are annoying me. I look Portia in the eye. "I know who I am, Portia. I am Peeta Mellark. I survived the Hunger Games twice with Katniss..."

At this point, Portia allows her lips to etch a small smile, though tears are still falling down her cheeks.

"...and after everything I did for her, that mutt Katniss Everdeen killed my family and tried to kill me."

The smile is immediately wiped clean from Portia's face, and her eyes open wide. "No, Peeta! No! It was all the Capitol!" She reaches out and touches my arm. For some reason, this touch sets me off. I jerk my arm away. How can she possibly be trying to stand up for Katniss after everything she's done? My rage has reached its peak. My whole body feels tense. I can't think straight, and suddenly everything seems shiny, like when I'm in the room with the screen and the tubes in my arm. Except now, there's no screen, no tubes, and no shots, which means what I feel now must be completely and utterly real.

Before I can stop myself, I push Portia onto the ground. Her head smacks against the hard floor, her eyes wide in shock. I shout for the guards that I know must be patrolling the hallway. They burst into the room and grab Portia by her arms. I see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I watch as she gets beaten again and again, her blood leaving stains on the floor of my cell.

She's making a mess.

She doesn't even try to fight the beatings, as if she's completely given up. The Peeta she was trying to reach is not here right now. I feel him fighting to surface, fighting to run to her aid, to save her, but my anger and confusion quickly overpower any of the old Peeta's feelings of sympathy. Her face is becoming more and swollen and bloody. Through every hit, her eyes never leave mine. Her mouth opens, and I faintly hear one word escape her lips.

"Remember." Remember what?

With each punch she receives, the life in her eyes fade away gradually, until finally there's nothing left. Portia was just given the gift I've been longing for this entire time.

Her broken body is dragged from the room and into the hall, leaving a smeared trail of blood behind.

My breathing slows as I tighten the barbed wire against my flesh once more. The anger inside of me vanishes, leaving the sympathy I felt before to burst forth full throttle. The shininess instantly disappears. My eyes grow wide as soon as I realize what I had done. Why didn't I do anything to stop it? Because I was only half aware of what was happening. Why can't I focus on anything anymore? Why can't I tell the difference between what's happening in front of me and what's happening only in my mind? I scream at the top of my lungs. I had just killed Portia. She was my friend, I trusted her, and she trusted me. Katniss was to blame for killing my family, and now I was to blame for killing Portia.

No, Katniss killed Portia. Not me. Katniss is the reason I'm here. Everything is her fault. If I wasn't here, Portia would still be alive.

As quickly as it left, the rage returns. But this time it's different. It's not directed at Portia or Katniss, or even the Capitol. It's not directed at anyone. It's just pure, uncontrollable rage. She's dead. Portia's dead. I watched her get beaten to death and did nothing. I destroy every object in the room within my reach. I rip apart the sorry excuse for a pillow, I kick the bucket of feces across the room, I pound my fists into the wall until they're bloody and swollen. I scream once more, and fall to my knees in a puddle of blood. Whether it's mine or Portia's, I don't know. But I do know one thing.

I let the Capitol change me. They won. I let them win. This isn't who I am. I love Katniss. I'm the boy with the bread. I'm the same old Peeta Mellark. No - I'm not that Peeta Mellark. Not anymore. I'm not the boy who was called at the reaping. I'm not the boy who got a beating to give a girl two loaves of burned bread. Not anymore. I've failed myself. I've become a piece in the Capitol's games. My falling tears mix with the blood on the floor.

"I'm sorry, father. I've let you down, and there is no way I can ever ask for your forgiveness. I'll never be able to look into your eyes again. You were the only person to truly understand me. The only one I could talk to about anything, who would love me unconditionally. You made me who I am, and now I've let you down. The one person who believed in me, who loved me for who I am, and I've failed you in every way possible. And I can never apologize." I hadn't even realized I was saying all of this out loud until I was done.

_I can never apologize._ Because my father is dead. Because Katniss killed him. All because of that filthy, murderous mutt. She needs to pay. She _will_ pay. I try to think of any good memory with her, anything. Anything that might give me a hint as to what's real and what's not. My head feels like it's going to explode. I've never been in so much agony, both mentally and physically. Katniss has taken everything from 's left me broken beyond repair. I just want this to end.

_For me, death would be a gift. _And if Snow refuses to bestow that gift upon me, then maybe I can bestow it upon someone else. I would say she deserves to suffer, like I am suffering now, but the longer she is alive, the more lives she will ruin. It's not worth the lives that will undoubtedly be lost if she is kept alive to suffer. Unlike Snow, I am willing to give the gift of death to the one person who deserves far, far worse.

I think of Portia's last word to me. _Remember._ I will, Portia. I will remember you. I will remember you as I avenge you and my father by killing Katniss, the one who caused all of this pain. Since death is not an option of escape for me, it needs to be a punishment for her.

I have no tears left. I lay down on my bed and somehow fall asleep, covered in blood and drying tears, my mind a complete mess. I find myself wishing that maybe, just maybe, I won't ever wake up.


	8. Chapter 8

******Another shameless plug. Check out all my original Hunger Games fully orchestrated compositions on my youtube channel! Just search "composinkid" on youtube and all of the pieces will show up. You know you want to listen to my original version of "Rue's Lullaby" as well as all my other pieces ;)**

******Also, before you continue on to read the conclusion of this story, I just want to quickly say thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, or set an alert. So, thanks everyone. It's much appreciated.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games.**_  
_

I hear gunfire. Shouting. More gunfire.

Someone bursts in my room. Grey eyes meet my blue ones.

"Gale?" I mutter.

"Guys, he's over here!" Gale yells out the door. He turns back to face me. "We're here to rescue you, Peeta. We're bringing you to District 13. You're going to be safe now."

"You're…rescuing me?" I ask hesitantly.

Gale looks at me with a confused look on his face. I realize I must look like a mess, completely black and blue covered in a coating of dried blood and tears. Surprisingly, his face suddenly becomes full of sympathy, and his eyes even become watery as he notices my emaciated and broken body. "What did they do to you, bread boy?" I clench my fists and look away.

He clears his throat. "Peeta, we are breaking you out. We need to move NOW. We already got out Johanna and Annie."

"Annie?" I ask, still looking away.

"Annie Cresta, Finnick's girl. Come on, we need to go NOW!" He shouts as gunfire roars through the hallway.

I'm too weak to move. Everything is happening too fast. The events of the previous day rush back to the front of my brain. My mind can't comprehend what is happening. Portia is dead, because of me. No. Because of Katniss. That mutt. I feel like my legs are about to give out underneath me.

Gale notices my hesitation and rushes towards me. He throws me over his shoulder and starts to run down the hall. I remain limp, too weak to fight back. I hope he's not taking me to _her_. She'll kill me. That's all she wants to do. Kill me. Then another thought crosses my mind. If he _is_ taking me to her, that makes it even easier for me to end her life myself. I'll play along.

Gale bursts through the doors to the outside. The sun blinds my eyes. I haven't seen the sun in I don't know how long. Weeks? Months? I barely see a hovercraft waiting just above us through my squinting eyes. A ladder drops down, and Gale urges me to climb. I climb as fast as I can with Gale right on my tail. With each step, my whole body aches. Somehow I make it into the hovercraft and collapse on the floor.

Johanna rushes over to me. She looks beaten and bruised, and her hair has been shaved since I saw her being tortured that one night. She holds me tight, pressing her lips to my ear. "I heard your screams every night, Peeta. Every night. But it's ok now. We're leaving. We're going to be safe," she whispers. I didn't even know I had been screaming that often. Huh. She seems to be a lot more mentally stable than I am, that's for sure.

"I'm glad you're safe," I tell her honestly.

I look over to another woman, who must be Annie. She seems to be in her own world, just staring out the window. Other than her extreme thinness, she doesn't look too harmed.

I go and look through the window of the hovercraft with her. On the ground, I see a figure. Snow. I can make out a smile on his thin lips as the hovercraft carries me further and further away.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see Gale looking at me.

"Peeta…" he begins. He must not know what to say. I'm not really sure what to say either, so I say the only thing I can think of.

"Thank you for rescuing me, Gale."

He just nods his head, staring at the ground. He takes a big inhale, as if what he says next will take a lot of effort. "You were always the best of us, Peeta. I hope the Capitol didn't change that." He looks into my eyes. I avert my gaze, finding sudden interest in the dirty floor. Gale continues anyways. "It was always you. She loves you." With that he walks away.

I pace back and forth, unable to control my thoughts. I vaguely remember wanting to help people, wanting to do whatever I could for the people I loved. That's the thing, though - there's nobody left that I love. The old Peeta, whoever he was, is dead. He was murdered the second Katniss' knife pierced his father's heart. I now understand what Johanna said in the arena during the Quell about having nobody left to care about. However, there is one difference between me and her. That difference is _how_ we lost the ones we love. Snow was the one to kill Johanna's family. Katniss killed mine.

Katniss. Thinking of her runs a shiver down my spine. Why it does, I'm not sure. And I'm far too tired and weak to figure it out. I sit down in one of the seats. Rage involuntarily builds inside of me, but I try to control it. None of the people on this hovercraft are responsible. I shouldn't take it out on them. Only Katniss. Katniss needs to pay. I need to kill her before she harms anyone else I love. I need to make my father, the only one who was ever there for me, proud. And the only way to do that is to kill his murderer. I feel my cheeks burn with anger and my fingers curl into shaking fists.

I'm too weak to harbor all of the anger I feel swelling inside of me. I curl up as much as I can in one of the seats, and immediately fall into the deepest sleep I've had in a long time.

xxxxx

I wake up on a medical table. We must be in District 13. A doctor comes in and runs a few tests. He asks me a few questions, but I think he understands that I don't want to talk about the details of my torture. I can't. He leaves me alone, still connected to the machines that are monitoring my body.

Snow promised never to lie to me, and I believed him. Which means everything he said was true. Katniss killed my family. She tried to kill me. I've seen it. I must kill her to prevent her from harming anyone else again. I need to avenge my family, and now I can. I am being taken right to Katniss. Right to the mutt herself. My mind is set, my anger and rage blinding me from everything else, giving me a single goal: kill Katniss. The monitor attached to my body beeps as my heart rate picks up. Must be the excitement in knowing I will soon get revenge. I smile. Now I'm glad that Snow didn't kill me. Sure, it would have been an escape, but Katniss would still be alive. She would still be able to destroy people's lives. I won't let that happen. I find myself thanking Snow for keeping me alive. Sure, what he did to me was awful and I hate him for it. But he did give me one thing. He gave me the ability to see through Katni- that _mutt's_ filthy lies. He gave me the information I needed to assure that killing her was the right thing to do.

I feel the need to grip her throat. I feel the need to hear her scream. Her screaming is what calmed me down at night, putting my troubled mind at rest. I feel the need to see blood seeping from the wounds that I will give to her. I feel the need to kill her slowly, watching the light leave her eyes. I grind my teeth together in anticipation as I imagine all the possible ways I can make that filthy mutt suffer. I will get my revenge. I will avenge my father, and I will make him proud.

I hear a girl shouting my name in the hallway. I recognize that voice. Katniss. A whirlwind of emotions blast through me. I have a sudden urge to call her name, to pull her into my arms, to kiss her soft lips. That feeling quickly passes, however, as the image of her plunging a knife into my father's chest surfaces in my mind. She doesn't love me. I need to avenge my father. The sooner she gets here, the sooner I can wrap my fingers around that throat of hers and squeeze until her heart stops beating. I know what's real now. She killed everyone I loved. President Snow helped me see that.

I now know that the promise Snow made me, the promise that he would only tell me the truth, was the greatest gift he could have ever given.

Katniss continues to shout my name and I hear her running towards my door, followed by several other footsteps which I assume belong to doctors. Good, they can watch me kill her. Then they can learn the truth too. The footsteps quickly grow louder and louder until they seem to be right outside.

"Peeta!" Katniss shouts again. This is it. She's finally going to pay. My heart feels like it's beating out of its chest as my vision starts to become clouded and shiny.

The door bursts open.

**End.**

* * *

**Well, there you have it. That's the end of this fanfic, sorry if it got a little intense in the last few chapters. I intended this to be a "fill in the blank" type story, meaning I tried to write this particular part of Mockingjay we didn't get to read about, without affecting the ending of the trilogy too much. So if you've read the trilogy, which I'm assuming you have or else you just ruined a hell of a lot by reading this fanfic, you know how everything ends. I tried to include a few hints that appear later on in Mockingjay, such as how Johanna's fear of water began (the water and electrocution torture, which is mentioned in the book). I also tried to mimic the confusion Peeta is feeling through the narration, without it being too broken and confusing so I didn't lose you, the reader, in his jumbled mess of a brain. Hope you enjoyed it.  
**

**-Composinkid  
**

**Ps. You guys remember Avril Lavigne's "Happy Ending," right? Listen to it while thinking about the ending of the first book. It kind of fits perfectly for how Peeta felt...  
**

**Pps. I'm working on another idea for a story, not sure if I'm going to even write it or how long it will take. Depends on if I get inspired enough :P  
**


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